Wataru vs. The Stupid Quiz/Transcript

(Normal day at school, Wataru arrives at his desk.)

Wataru: Sorry I'm late!

Mrs. Simpson: Wataru, you're always late. That's the 21st time in a row you've been late to class.

Wataru: Sorry! I was busy playing World of Warcraft and TF2.

(cut back before Wataru went to school)

Wataru: Yes! I killed him! (singing) I killed him! (x5) (Wataru stops singing when he got killed.) THE HECK!? Somebody killed me!

Kenji: WATARU, GET OFF THE COMPUTER! IT'S TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL!

Wataru: No dad! Just give me another half hour!

Kenji: NO! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE LATE FOR THE 21ST TIME IN A ROW!

Wataru: FOR GOD'S SAKE! I'M NOT GOING TO THAT CRAPPY SCHOOL!

Kenji: IF YOU DO NOT COME DOWN HERE WITHIN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES, I WILL TAKE AWAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT, TF2, AND COUNTERSTRIKE SOURCE AGAIN!

Wataru: I KNOW! YOU ALWAYS PULL THAT FREAKING MOVE!

(cut back to school)

Mrs. Simpson: Anyways, today we will be taking a quiz called the Stupid Quiz.

Wataru: Stupid Quiz!? What in the world is the Stupid Quiz?

Mrs. Simpson: That's because you were sleeping in class as usual. I will tell about the Stupid Quiz one last time. This time you better listen carefully Wataru. The Stupid Quiz is composed of 20 random questions. It's almost impossible to fail it, unless you're completely dumb. Not one person has failed it in history. Not even an autistic person, not even your dad Wataru, NOBODY! And this is 20% of your grade.

Eguri: You're such a kid and SHUT UP!

Wataru: Oh curse you Eguri.

Mrs. Simpson: Wataru, shut up and take your quiz.

Wataru: Alright. First question! (Wataru gets confused) What's 2+2!? It's 22. Second question! What is the capital of New York!? It's Queens, New York!

Mrs. Simpson: Wataru, can you stop constantly yelling?

Wataru: NO!

Mrs. Simpson: Wataru, go take your quiz in the library.

(Wataru arrives in the library.)

Wataru: Alright. Time to continue taking the Stupid Quiz. Hey... Why does this place smell like my dad's farts? Third Question! What year did Michael Jackson die? It's 1995. Who discovered America? It's Captain America! Fourth Question! Who painted the famous Mona Lisa? It's Nobuo Umetsu! Fifth Question! Who's the Angriest Gamer you ever heard of? It's the Angry German Kid!

(20 minutes later...)

Wataru: YEEEAAAAHHH! I'm finally on the last question! Are Echidnas real animals? Possibly yes. Woo hoot! I'm finally done with the stupid quiz! Now I can get out of this smelly room!

(Wataru gets back to class.)

Wataru: Mrs. Simpson, I'm finished with my quiz.

Mrs. Simpson: Okay class, now that everyone has finished their Stupid Quiz, you can now go home.

Wataru: WORLD OF WARCRAFT, TEAM FORTRESS 2, AND COUNTERSTRIKE SOURCE HERE WE COME!

(The next day)

Susumu: Alright Wataru. Let's hope you get a Triple A on this quiz.

Mrs. Simpson: Alright guys, I graded your Stupid Quizzes last night. You will find them on your desks.

Wataru: Let's hope what Susumu said!

(Wataru sees his quiz, noticing he got a zero on it. Wataru screams very loud. The page reads:

Congratulations! You are the first person in history to fail the Stupid Quiz! Please see me after class today.)

Wataru: No! I got a freaking zero!?

Mrs. Simpson: I saw your answers, they were complete nonsense. Can we talk about this after class today? I have a class I need to teach.

Wataru: NO! First off, I want to play World of Warcraft, TF2, and CounterStrike Source. Second of all, those who fail me on a test gets a taste of my Super Charged Temper Tantrum Attack!

Mrs. Simpson: Don't you dare, or else.

Wataru: Too bad! Here it comes! (Wataru begins building power, up to four tiers, and Wataru releases a temper tantrum so loud for about almost a minute.)

Mrs. Simpson: Wataru, this behavior is completely unacceptable. This leaves me no choice but to call Mr. Wiggum up. (Mrs. Simpson slaps the button on her calling machine and Mr. Wiggum enters the room.)

Mr. Wiggum: Mrs. Marge Simpson, is Wataru causing trouble again?

Mrs. Simpson: Yep. Just look at him. (Wataru begins crying)

Mr. Wiggum: WATARU HOSHI! (Wataru stops crying)

Wataru: WHAT THE HECK!? YOU CALLED PRINCIPAL WIGGUM ON ME!? HOW DARE YOU! NOW I HAVE TO BEAT YOU UP FOR THIS!

Mr. Wiggum: Don't you dare try to attack Mrs. Simpson. And what was with that temper tantrum of yours, honestly I heard you from the other side of the school.

Wataru: BACK OFF, AND GO HAVE SEX WITH MRS. SIMPSON!

Mr. Wiggum: Wataru, come down to my office right now!

Wataru: NOOOO!

(at Principal Wiggum's Office...)

Wataru: Can I get out of here now, I said I was sorry.

Mr. Wiggum: Sorry, but you're getting nowhere for this. I just talked with Mrs. Simpson about you failing the Stupid Quiz, and your behavior the past two days, and how it's going to affect me and this school.

Wataru: The whole situation can be a funny memory.

Mr. Wiggum: It's not funny Wataru. You don't understand. I'LL TELL YOU WHY! I have to submit these quizzes to the supernintendent to see how well we're teaching our kids, and when she sees that you failed the quiz, we're going to be in a lot of trouble. In fact, she was the one who created the Stupid Quiz in peace.

Wataru: Then don't show it to her.

Mr. Wiggum: I have no choice. I have to do this. Trust me when she sees your answers. Tell me, who the heck puts "Moo" as an answer for a math problem, and how could you not know who Pikachu is?

Wataru: Oh, that Pokémon was Pikachu? Can I go home now? I have three games waiting for me at home.

Mr. Wiggum: Oh Wataru, I will be contacting your parents about you failing the Stupid Quiz, and your behavior the past two days. I believe you are suspended today and tomorrow.

Wataru: What!? (Wataru goes home.) Goddangit. I cannot believe I failed the Stupid Quiz. Anyways, let's play World of Warcraft first.

(Hitomi and Kenji get on the phone and scream.)

Kenji: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WATARU IS SUSPENDED!? HE FAILED A QUIZ AND THREW A TEMPER TANTRUM!?

Hitomi: Wataru, Principal Wiggum was just on the phone with us now. He told us you failed a quiz called the Stupid Quiz and about your behavior the past two days.

Wataru: Let me guess, this is the part where we have "The Talk".

Kenji: CORRECT! GET DOWN HERE YOU DUMBCRAP!

Wataru: But if I come down here, you guys are gonna beat me up and ground me as usual. And Yuri's going to laugh and watch as usual.

Kenji: Too bad, you have to come down now!

Wataru: NOOO! Why do you three have to ruin my life with punishments!?

(Wataru comes and starts getting beaten up. Yuri laughs as usual.)

Kenji: NOW GET UP TO YOUR ROOM AND STUDY, AND YOU ARE NOT GETTING WORLD OF WARCRAFT, TEAM FORTRESS 2, AND COUNTERSTRIKE SOURCE BACK UNTIL CHRISTMAS DAY!

Wataru: Go to hell, guys!

(cut back at school, where Mr. Wiggum is walking down the hall)

Mr. Wiggum: What do you guys want, I'm currently trying to bake cookies for Santa.

Mr. Matisse: Mr. Wiggum, it's the supernintendent of your school. She seems very mad about one of your students failing the stupid quiz.

Mr. Wiggum: I don't want to talk to her. I'm too scared!

Mr. Matisse: Too bad, you have to.

Mr. Wiggum: Fine, I'll just moonwalk back to my office. (begins walking backwards)

(some time later...)

Mr. Beanson: Principal Wiggum, the supernintendent is here to see you.

Mr. Wiggum: Don't tell me. I just caught a cold, and I'm sick right now. You're the Vice Principal of the school, Mr. Beanson. Tell her to come back another time.

Mr. Beanson: You know you're trying to avoid her. You know on how strict and impatient she is. (the supernintendent starts knocking on the door) I believe that's the supernintendent knocking on the door.

Mr. Wiggum: Tell her to go suck a butt. (the supernintendent starts getting angrier)

Mr. Beanson: Oh god, she's getting angrier now.

Mr. Wiggum: Fine! I'll speak to her. ALRIGHT!? (the supernintendent enters the room) So, you wanted to see me supernintendent? I was trying to bake cookies for Santa.

Supernintendent: FIrst off, why were you trying to avoid me? Second, I'M YOUR WIFE FOR GOD'S SAKE! Seriously? How could Wataru Hoshi fail the Stupid Quiz? He's the first one to fail in history, and I've told you like a million times Santa doesn't exist!

Mr. Wiggum: But I see him at the mall every December.

Supernintendent: First off, I want you to make that kid retake that quiz, but with different questions, and if he fails again, or refuses to retake it, I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL TAKE A BOW AND ARROW AND SHOOT NOT ONE, BUT BOTH OF YOUR KNEES!